This post marks the end of my Anxiety & Me series. I hope it benefited you in some way, either through you realizing that you’re not alone in this struggle or by giving you hope that your anxiety is manageable. It is.
I mentioned my coping mechanisms in previous posts and I described how they help me. I thought mentioning my daily challenges would be a good way to end the series. Of course, some of them were hinted at in my last post, but I’ll go into detail here.
You might find some of my challenges to be a bit silly – and this definitely isn’t all of them – but here we go:
Putting on Makeup
Yes! This is a challenge for me. On top of me not having all of the proper tools needed to slay my face like the youtube gurus and Instagram models, I am always worried about my face falling apart throughout the day. Don’t worry – I’m still having fun, but I’m worrying at the same time.
However, halfway through the day, the following thoughts come to mind: Am I too shiny? Are the natural oils from my face seeping through the makeup? Making my forehead look shiny? Can they see the slightest hint of a contour? I still don’t know how to contour my nose, I-
I tend to shut down these thoughts by pondering my forehead every so often, ignoring the nagging thought of my almost invisible contour, and I keep it moving.
Eating in front of people
Granted, I try to pick a secluded spot, but the fact that I am still in public eating does tend to make me lose my appetite. Sitting somewhere more private (while still being around people) helps me challenge myself (to eat despite of my anxiety), and I’m glad I started eating alone instead of refusing to eat outside of my home.
Once I relax and look around, I realize that no one is staring at my every move. (That’s anxiety for ya . . .)
Wearing “Cute” Clothes
I’m trying to wear more of my wardrobe, ditching my old T-shirts for some better fitting and nicer blouses, and this makes me self-conscious like no one’s business. However, I try to dress up the outfit with some makeup so I. . . I don’t know. You guys ever heard of imposter syndrome? It hits me pretty hard every time I try to dress nice. I’m ignoring it day by day, and I go even farther with the challenge by throwing on jewelry. A completed outfit helps perk me up if I’m not feeling too great.
Wearing makeup and jewelry also helps me feel more composed, which actually alleviates my anxiety.
Rocking my mohawk
I have alopecia areata, an autoimmune disorder that makes my hair fall out. It is aggravated during stress – and boy, does it really hurt my feelings sometimes – but I’m finding more ways to appreciate my hair while it recovers. Did it inspire my haircuit? Yes, about 60%. I like to think I’m rocking this bad boy now, though.
Was my haircut another stressor n the beginning? Yes, but now I’m at peace with my hair and the alopecia, and you know what? I’ve gotten so many compliments on my mohawk this week that I’ve hardly thought about my alopecia. It’s always good to find a way to challenge yourself.
Learning new skills so I don’t feel like a poser
Every now and then, I get this strong feeling of inadequacy, like I’ll never know enough. What do I do to combat this feeling?
I start studying.
I can’t tell you about the subjects yet – they always say to move in silence – but know that I am working to improve myself in every way possible. I have this time blocked off in Google Calendar and I try to stick to it every day. Is it tiring and I don’t study all the time? Absolutely, but we’re all works in progress and not that we’ll ever be finished, but one day, we will be content with where we are.
That day can be today. Lay your head down on your pillow tonight and tell yourself you’ve done enough today. Don’t worry about tomorrow. Sleep. Rest easy.
Thank you all for following this series. I really enjoying opening up to you and I hope you’ll stick around. I want to focus more on mental health and how everyone is affected by their minds, and how we can end the stigmas and prejudices that come with mental illnesses. It’s never too late to raise awareness.
I hope you all have a wonderful day. I’ll see you soon. Take care.