Living with Depression: My “Flare Ups”

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January 30th, 2020 // Status Report

Hi, everyone!

I’ve been fairly active on my blog this week. I had to start a new project called It’s Not You, and while I was hoping for it to be an audiobook of sorts, I don’t have the time to make sure that is how it comes out. Truthfully, I’m a bit disappointed.

I’ve been depressed for the last week or two. I finally managed to pull myself together in the last few days. I guess I woke up one morning and shook most of it off. I started wearing makeup again and knitting, so that’s always good. I’m keeping tabs on myself and my activities, so I was able to notice something had been off these last two weeks. I like to think of my depressive episodes as “flare ups”, but I don’t know if that somehow minimizes the illness. It probably does, but it makes the episodes a bit easier to stomach.

I have been dealing with some feelings of existential anxiety and brief moments of derealization. These emotions usually cause panic attacks and I’ve successfully stopped myself in my tracks before they became too intense and swallowed me up.

I would say that the quarter is going well. I’ve been looking into creating business cards by the time Career Day begins (on the 21st), but I don’t have the money to order any right now. The meetings that I had with my advisor in the last week have been pretty helpful. He’s assured me that I’m on the right path and that my resume wasn’t as bad as I thought, which was great to hear since I was embarrassed by it.

I hope you all are doing well. I’m still brainstorming some plans for my website and I’ll let you know if anything changes once I solidify them.

Have a great day! Stay safe!

~Taia