Goodbye, January . . .
I consider January to be another stressful blur. I found myself wondering if December hadn’t ended yet, because some days reminded me strongly of how December seemed. I spent a few weeks dealing with raw emotions, restless nights, and a worrisome lack of eating. I even had to resort to writing down my meals at one point because I started wondering why I was so hungry.
I’m pleased to say that I made it out with my sanity intact, although I am a bit exhausted from the turmoil. Between friends going missing and struggling to stay in tune with myself, January felt like December 2.0.
February seems much more peaceful so far, full of tasks to complete, things to learn, and movies to watch. I promised myself in my last blog post that I would take better care of me, which means a few different things:
- Creating a healthier relationship with productivity (because oh my God 😅)
- Allowing myself to rest (especially if this means getting up an hour later after I’ve woken up, because I usually take a nap anyway or get a kick of energy to make up for the lost time)
- Taking time out of my day to consume media for fun
I took special care in January to create a morning routine. It still needs a bit of work, but I like where it is right now. I start my mornings with making my bed, drinking water and starting my coffee maker, moisturizing my hair, and then I head to the shower. I scroll through Youtube and find nice lofi music playlist (the one that’s live all the time), blast the playlist on my speakers while I shower, and take my meds afterwards. It’s relaxing and a nice way to kick off my morning.
I noticed that if I let myself, my mind wanders to stressors in the morning, so I play the music to fill my head with noise. The improvements that keep bugging me are minor, if I’m going to be honest, but they linger in my mind when I leave my bedroom to officially start my day. It’s all good, though. I don’t mind.
I spent a bit more time on Youtube to daydream in January, resulting in rediscovering a few of my favorite songs . . .
- “Can you feel my heart?” and “Drown” by Bring Me The Horizon
- “Bite” by Troye Sivan
- “Warm” by The Neighborhood
- “Same Mistake” and “Cry” by James Blunt
- “Dandelions” by Ruth B.
- “Eastside” by Benny Blanco, Halsey, and Khalid
. . . and finding new ones.
- “Never Give Up” by Mathame
- “The Drug in Me is You” and the reimagined version by Falling in Reverse
- “Cinnamon Girl” by Lana Del Rey
- “Streets” by Doja Cat
I spent most of January letting my mind rest. I fulfilled all of my upload obligations for the month (yay!) and I’m aiming to do the same in February. Lightningborn is still on the brain – it feels like I’m returning to it slowly, like a spooked cat trying to make sure the person offering her a head pat is safe. I have quite a few projects on my plate now: Lightningborn, Echoes, Sins of the Sun, etc.
I haven’t written anything new in a while – I think I was a victim of new, shiny project syndrome, but I am trying to get back to them. In my last blog post, I described my struggles with wanting to show my work in all stages, especially once I realized what that meant.
I’m still up to it, but the idea of eyes on my first drafts (even if I asked for it) is intimidating, to say the least. Rest assured, I’ll get over it. 😂😅
February’s Content Schedule is up on my Patreon, if you like to know what I’ll be up to. My next blog post will focus more on what’s going on now in my life and what kind of content will be coming your way. I hope you all have a good rest of your day!
On the Blog
- Farewell image created by @peachpodt on twitter.
- February Goal Page